The Village

I had this dream about my Papa the other night. That he was alive and well and smoking cigars. I could smell them. And that I wanted him to meet the people he hadn't yet met. He demanded I fetched Nana and an espresso for him.

As whacked out as it sounds, I think he might have come to visit. To impart some of  his 'coolness'. That man was chilled out - in my viewpoint - he died when I was 17 so I only had that view of being his VERY indulged grand daughter. And in a family of pretty damn feisty women (Granny aside), him and my dad were the complete opposite. Mind you, they had the women running around enough so maybe they had the right approach. ;)

But again, back to my dream. I would like to think, and if that's what makes me happy, then that's my belief and what I will think. I would like to think... that the message was that, him and Nana's essence is with me all the time. I can draw on who they were, who they were to me and be calm in the face of whatever is thrown my way. Yes, this week I've been tired, so tired, I've been contemplating what I should do and what Monday is going to bring. So emotions have been high on the agenda. What if's have been travelling through my mind at warp speed.

And you know, I can hear his voice and Nana's voice saying my name and it makes me smile. Little memories like her making me Taystee Wheat even when I was far too old to have it made for me, to sit in her bed, with Horlicks while she read Alice in Wonderland. She wasn't cuddly - but I was loved. And Papa gave the cuddles. She gave me the food I wanted... ALL of it. She told me that I would grow into myself, be beautiful - I really wasn't a pretty pre-teen - teeth that grew awfully, freckles that made boys laugh and hair that behaved like a toddler. She always told me I looked like her grandmother, the spitting image she said. Yet, CG mistook her for me in a photo of years ago so I wonder if she ever saw me in her? I miss her so much.

Wow! I've just seen the date and that's it's Granny's birthday. I was just about to put in this blog about how food dominates our family, I was going to go on about how I don't think Granny's roast will ever be beaten. I can't even work out how old she would have been... but she's been gone for 18 years now. My lovely squishy granny. *sitting her with a huge grin on my face*

My family... I am so lucky to have had amazing people to bring me up. Takes a village, it really did, from Sea Point to Harfield Village. They did well.