Happy birthday!

*in the absence of Nhandi's wall - as she no longer has a Facebook page*

Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear NHANDIIIIII, Happy birthday to youoooooooou! 
♥ you ♥ my darling girl.

this is the first birthday we've not been able to talk since 1988 - I cannot tell you how that breaks me into pieces. There is so much I still need to say to you. Like how every time we had a birthday, we added another tequila to the ever increasing number of birthdays we had missed and planned on the day we'd drink them. There is no way I can drink your share! And how on every birthday, you'd quote Alice in Wonderland (Alison Wonderland lol) to me because you knew I loved it. So in the essence of Alice, here's one for you my angel:

Child of the pure unclouded brow
And dreaming eyes of wonder!
Though time be fleet, and I and thou
Are half a life asunder,
Thy loving smile will surely hail
The love-gift of a fairy-tale.

I have not seen thy sunny face,
Nor heard thy silver laughter;
No thought of me shall find a place
In thy young life's hereafter -
Enough that now thou wilt not fail
To listen to my fairy-tale.

A tale begun in other days,
When summer suns were glowing -
A simple chime, that served to time
The rhythm of our rowing -
Whose echoes live in memory yet,
Though envious years would say 'forget'.

Come, hearken then, ere voice of dread,
With bitter tidings laden,
Shall summon to unwelcome bed
A melancholy maiden!
We are but older children, dear,
Who fret to find our bedtime near.

Without, the frost, the blinding snow,
The storm-wind's moody madness -
Within, the firelight's ruddy glow,
And childhood's nest of gladness.
The magic words shall hold thee fast:
Thou shalt not heed the raving blast.

And though the shadow of a sigh
May tremble through the story,
For 'happy summer days' gone by,
And vanish'd summer glory -
It shall not touch with breath of bale
The pleasance of our fairy-tale.
*Alice in Wonderland - through the Looking Glass*


And it's a happy birthday to my Nana too. And I do hope they are in Heaven or somewhere just as pretty in my head, eating Nana's chocolate cake. Two women who loved me unconditionally and who shaped a part of who I am today, without a doubt. Two women who I loved just as unconditionally back and who I love dearly.

I have lit a candle every day since 11 November, but today I lit a special one for the both of them.