Feeling good

Yesterday, I took the plunge and put on some shoes. Now, I have many shoes so it was hard to choose a pair that would be walking me out of 'indoors'. I didn't really want to play favourites but I figured the high heels would have to wait, on came the trainers. And off I trotted.

To see my parents. I've been away before, only contact via video calling so I know what a reunion after 3/4 months looks like. It's grand. I'm so close to my parents, so seeing them is very much a part of my life.

And my mom didn't know, so she got the biggest surprise and was overwhelmed and then we were crying... and for a brief minute she was my mom of old. Loved it.

We spoke and laughed and ate meringues - for Father's Day *top tip - don't start making meringues at 10pm.

Dad loved his gifts and I came away with my soul absolutely singing. Which had only a little bit to do with the cider I was drinking.

And isn't that the thing? The pull of your people to help with your brain.  To make you smile and fill up your heart.

I can be alone, I know this, but I also need folk around me who speak to inner me. The people which my soul recognises as ones to gravitate to. I'm truly lucky to have family like that. I'm doubly lucky in that I have friends like that too.

I'm not sure what was so special about that summer, but I look to that circle I was in then.....and maybe it's where I formed formative bonds or where I started to learn about myself and what I believed in. But that circle has stayed with me. I know I am greatly loved still. And that's a hell of a statement to make. That there is 30 years of history - of good and bad - and yet I'm still able to pick up every single time and be loved and cherished and have the best of all the best times. To be known for all that I am.

You can talk about fate and if it's valid, if it's true. I'm sure it's more to do with souls. Because when I see that circle, it's like mine breathes a sigh of relief, it doesn't have to hold anything back. We can just be in that moment, safe and happy. And the hours spent (either on the phone or face to face), whizz by, no topic is left unturned, words are not kept in check.

This is a bit of a mushy blog. Maybe leaving the house was a momentous occasion (oh yes it was).

However, it's always good to step back and take stock of your people. To be grateful you have them willing you to be awesome. To just have them.

And that circle from my youth... that circle that still has my back? I don't know when I'll see them again. It should have been in two weeks time, but #worldlockdown. But there will come a day when I will. Until then, video will have to do. And the hugs will be tighter and stronger when we meet again.