It's the end of the year, and also the decade. Makes a person all kinds of reflective. And I'm not sure if this decade has gone past at a normal amount of speed, or just whizzed by. Connor was 11, now he's 21 - that feels longer than 10 years.
So breaking it down.... '89 - '99 probably had the most growth - 15-25 years old. I left school, fell in love and became a mother. '99 - '09, now this is the decade that flashed past. And now this past one - travelled so flipping much, discovered festivals, enjoyed life really. Lost my best friend and my brother. I still maintain 89-99 had the most growth as in I grew up, but this past one, I grew into liking myself, growing myself. Becoming all shades of adult.
There's aspects of who I am now, that I don't like. I catch myself saying something, that's so out of odds of who I think I am. And contrary... one minute I'm all for something, the next I turn on that something like it's evil personified. What is that about? Yes, I'm far more opinionated than I've ever been before. Or maybe, I was just opinionated in my head, now I'm not fussed who gets to hear it. Not really painting myself as fabulous!
BUT, and herein lies the but, I do think I focussed on everyone else being happy and 'keeping the peace' 'all for an easy life' for so long that now I'm more focussed on me being peacefully happy, this strange lady is coming out.
If you don't ask for something, you will not get it. If you smile and nudge towards the thing you want, you will not get it in a timely fashion and someone else might nab it instead. No, be bold, be brave and go get it. Yourself.
See, here's the thing, my family were full of strong independent women - of course they were - who taught me to be that woman as well. My papa and dad made sure I believed I was the best - dad taught me how to solder! They sent me to really strong only girls schools who empowered young girls to be as good as their counterparts. And it's taken me a few decades to consolidate that learning, to grow myself into the female I want to be. Strong yet flexible - sparkly yet witty. Feminine (and I don't think I should apologise for that) and completely able. And maybe my generation (female) wants absolutely everything - the moon on a stick - and to be everything. And bugger it, I was that single mother who worked full time and was everything to everyone. So yeah... I can have it all. And I do want it all. And maybe at the end of the next decade, I might relax into enjoying it all. But for now, there be dragons to slay and lands to conquer.
So breaking it down.... '89 - '99 probably had the most growth - 15-25 years old. I left school, fell in love and became a mother. '99 - '09, now this is the decade that flashed past. And now this past one - travelled so flipping much, discovered festivals, enjoyed life really. Lost my best friend and my brother. I still maintain 89-99 had the most growth as in I grew up, but this past one, I grew into liking myself, growing myself. Becoming all shades of adult.
There's aspects of who I am now, that I don't like. I catch myself saying something, that's so out of odds of who I think I am. And contrary... one minute I'm all for something, the next I turn on that something like it's evil personified. What is that about? Yes, I'm far more opinionated than I've ever been before. Or maybe, I was just opinionated in my head, now I'm not fussed who gets to hear it. Not really painting myself as fabulous!
BUT, and herein lies the but, I do think I focussed on everyone else being happy and 'keeping the peace' 'all for an easy life' for so long that now I'm more focussed on me being peacefully happy, this strange lady is coming out.
If you don't ask for something, you will not get it. If you smile and nudge towards the thing you want, you will not get it in a timely fashion and someone else might nab it instead. No, be bold, be brave and go get it. Yourself.
See, here's the thing, my family were full of strong independent women - of course they were - who taught me to be that woman as well. My papa and dad made sure I believed I was the best - dad taught me how to solder! They sent me to really strong only girls schools who empowered young girls to be as good as their counterparts. And it's taken me a few decades to consolidate that learning, to grow myself into the female I want to be. Strong yet flexible - sparkly yet witty. Feminine (and I don't think I should apologise for that) and completely able. And maybe my generation (female) wants absolutely everything - the moon on a stick - and to be everything. And bugger it, I was that single mother who worked full time and was everything to everyone. So yeah... I can have it all. And I do want it all. And maybe at the end of the next decade, I might relax into enjoying it all. But for now, there be dragons to slay and lands to conquer.
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