Saying Goodbye

There's a very sad feeling in my heart. The knowledge that I'll never see my LM again. I sat in the car when I heard the news and I failed to process it properly.
Normally, we don't get the chance to say goodbye. Normally, we don't know when Death will come with his calling card. In this case, I won't be able to say goodbye, because I am so very far away but I wouldn't know what to say if I was closer.
Because that's it, we don't prepare for moments like this. We figure life goes on forever, EVEN when we get sporadic wake up calls that it doesn't.
I know she doesn't know what's happening, but if I had the chance, I'd say thank you. Thank you for being there from when I was 12. For your warmth, your love and your inspiration. You were the only single mother I really knew. And you did the most amazing job of raising the most beautiful spirited woman. And when that came to be my role, I knew I could do it, as I had you as my role model. I knew everything would be okay. And 4 years ago, when you were going through the most traumatic time of your life, you held me and gave me comfort. You thought of my loss as well as the bone crushing loss of your own. You never made me feel that my loss was any less than your own. 3 years ago, you held me in that car park in Somerset West and let me sob so hard. I hope I gave you strength back when you needed it. I wish I had been closer in distance.
You are and will always be, my second mother. I know people throw the phrase around. But you always have been  my 'other mommy'. When we had broken hearts in our teenage years, you let me and Nhandi cuddle up with you in your big bed, made us hot chocolate and told us one day our princes would come. You sat with me when I went through a window, hands first, and picked out every single shard of glass with a pair of tweezers, bandaged me up JUST like my mom would have done. I love you so much and I want you to be free but I'm going to miss you so much. Miss you forever. One thing I will always take with me was your ability to get up after EVERY fall you had. No matter what crap was flung your way, you were positive that it would always get better.
My love for always
Your AD