Summer 2016 - BRF*

I realise that some friends or family who read this - might get a little annoyed/upset/disappointed by this blog. I also know that because they like/love me, they will probably understand.

You see, I get a question asked of me quite a bit. It's one that I'm sure millions of expats get asked. "Would you go back?" or a variant of that. Would you go back to live? Don't you miss it?

My answer has changed over the years... and my current one is 'no, I miss the way of life, I miss my people, but I'm too soft for Africa'. It's sad to say but I am. That living next door to abject poverty and anything you can and want to do, will be a mere drop in the ocean, is not the life you wish to live. Aaah and as I'm typing this, I can actually hear the comeback people might give me for this. BUT until you've been a tourist in your country, you cannot understand how bad your homeless situation is. I live in England where apparently thousands live below the poverty line. I'm sure they do, IF that poverty line is governed by the amount of TV's you have in your house, or how many Sky channels.

But this wasn't the point of this blog. I was standing in the kitchen and realising that Summer '16 is over.... and hasn't it been a great one? And that if every Summer was like this in England, then I wouldn't miss 'the way of life' anymore. I'd just miss my people.

Sunshine, it's what keeps my batteries charged. I'm a flower! And a country that has defined seasons, is what I like. This year, it has done all that. Thank you England.

Thing is, I haven't laid on a beach, bleaching my bones - BUT I have walked along and dipped my toes and made decisions and had epic talks. Purrfect. I have been to a festival - seen MANY international bands and not just local ones.... although I guess Black Sabbath is a local band? I have spent nights in a tent, done the wedding season (and as a result, had my very own Bridget Jones moment) - been to a few casinos, ticked off my bucket list by visiting Stratford-upon-Avon, went to Wimbledon. Got a promotion.

So yes, those folk back home, might wax lyrical about braai's and sunny skies. But I had my own this year.... This is not a summer where I wish I was elsewhere. This is a summer I was glad England was my home.

They say Africa is not for sissies.... however, I am a softy so I think Africa is still for me, but not as a home. There it is... I've said it. I may miss it, but in reality, I miss people. I miss seeing the mountain, I miss sinking my toes into sand, I miss big sky country. But although I miss it, I no longer wish to live there.

It's a big admission to make and one that makes me a little sad. Suffice to say, I've changed my mind many a time over the years, on many different things. This might be one of them. ;)

I guess I look at the Timehop thing and remember that 3 years ago it was nearly our last day in SA.... and the more I think about the trip, the more I come to see, it was exactly as I suspected and believed it would be. A farewell tour. I mean farewell as in, I'll visit you but I won't live in you anymore. Farewell as in, my home is elsewhere. Be that England or wherever, it's not Africa. However, Africa will always be inside me. I am an African Girl... that rare breed of sunny skies and happiness. But I am also English... maybe that's what makes it so hard to be defined... because I can't define myself into a box. Maybe that's my 'curb appeal'?


HA! and noticing that typing on a keyboard as opposed to using the app... means that I just brain vomit as opposed to writing out a subject.


* BewareRocksForeshore