Christmas 2015 rocks.

Christmas. All over for another year. It's been a lovely day. Filled up to the brim with nearly all my fevrit people. Having my Catty and LaniMom here would have been truly awesome but I was spoiled enough. 

And you know, gifts aren't everything but when you get truly personal presents, you know you are cared for, loved and thus you are the happiest cat who hasn't been skinned. 

HashtagHappyContent 

Bah humbug

I don't consider myself elusive, a book full of secrets or even that I keep to myself. 

However I must now draw this as a conclusion. Or entertain the thought that maybe I'm disliked and I won't do that as its self pitying for one. 

For once again, secret Santa has come to the office and once again I have a "gift" that is a waste of the money that was spent on it. It's not personal, I don't get the joke and it's not something i will ever use. If this was the first year I have ever played this game I would put it down to not knowing me. But no, this happens year after year. Everyone gets something that's personal or thought about and I get crap. That sounds so petulant and maybe it is. But bloody hell, anyone who spends 5 min in my company knows that I'm a girl who likes food/sparkly things and Coca Cola.  Not doing this again. Secret Santa and I are done. 

And I've been such a good girl this year 

Laugh. Cry. Emote.

There once was a little girl who laughed when her best friend fell out of a tree and broke her arm. It wasn't a nasty laugh. They had been laughing before. It could be called hysterical - borne out of fear. 

That little girl grew up and some years later broke her own hand and arm and laughed and cried all the way to casualty. That girl laughed so hard on the eve of her nana's funeral that it was hard to distinguish if the tears falling were from mirth or sorrow. 

And today, when our country is on a high state of terror alert. When we aren't safe having a coffee, listening to live music, catching a tube, that girl laughed when she saw a terror suspect tasered. 

And it's not because she doesn't understand the berivity of the situation.oh she really does. Having seen police with guns on the street while growing up, she appreciates the fear of it all. 

I believe it's a coping mechanism. Being able to mock the people who scare me is a human trait. Je suis Charlie proved that mocking also gets you killed. Tricky then when you laugh as your best friend falls from a tree. 

To laugh means that my brain doesn't want to cry. It's a character flaw I'm happy having.