Less than two

In two weeks time I can go all mystic and predict I shall be raging the shit out of my wellies (thank goodness I'm not writing that in Word!). 

Metallica will be playing, and I will be shuffling my arse off, shaking my thing. 

Excited much? I guess I am. 

The dreams have stopped where I'm lost and everyone is back stage. I think that's because I have a list and I've seen the map. Things that made me happy....a list does that. Clears my head. Puts things in order. 

My first English festival. I know I'll be making awesome memories. 

Bring. It. On. 

Gaslight, Metallica and others - I'm a-coming to appreciate your talent. Bring your best. 

Monkeys.

TB asked me about The World of Birds. As always when I mention the place, I rant on about the stupid squirrel monkeys. And I know everyone loves them and they're so gosh darn cute etc. 

but they aren't. They're horrible little biting creatures. I've been there twice as an "adult" and every time I've gritted my teeth coming near them. Transformed into a child who got bitten. 

And I know it was my fault, I know my finger stuck into their face, seemed to them like a tasty morsel. However, my petulant attitude comes from the fact that I got zero sympathy from my family. Zilch. No, I got, in the way of my family a telling off and much hysterical giggles. I was hoping my Nana with her clean freak ways (This was a lady who washed her dogs paws after a walk and brushed it's teeth) would think of the germs monkeys have and rush me off for medical attention. I didn't even get a tetanus shot. I still have the scar - mental as well as physical clearly. 

Nope the poor monkey got the attention and extra treats. 

I'm still bitter. 

;-) 

Dreaming kuk

Like when tony soprano has his dreams about Pussy being a traitor, I wonder if in real life, my life, my dreams are doing the same. 

Or maybe it's just my own projection on things? 

If I chose I could be that person. I could read into things and feel like a doos. Be like a doos.  I choose the opposite. 

Old Pines

I've blogged about how music transports me. The song below is no exception (and of course now I'm wondering if I've done this before). This came on my spotify earlier and instantly I was back to another place. I had heard this song before but it was playing as CG and I left Knysna nearly two years ago. After we had spent a week in PE. PE is special to me. Ja, it doesn't have the family, the vibe, the history of Cape Town but it has where I was happy. It has a part of me. My heart? It holds something special. And I was able to share that with CG. Two years ago I said my farewell to Nhandi, I showed CG where I began, my memories. So yes the song below is poignant. It doesn't make me sad. It recalls to my mind, the early morning sun hitting the lagoon, the fresh smell of life starting a new day. starting another road trip. Making fresh memories for my son to take into his life. I don't know, it's a song. But it conjures up good times. 

I am a little emotional today but not in a "hark at the past". I'm a little sad that tomorrow everyone gathers at Liz and I don't. But also I'm a little jealous. I'm not emotionally sad, I'm just remembering why we had to gather in that way. I do miss my Nhandi in a way I never envisaged. I don't think that will diminish. 

I'm rather happy though. And that's why I post this song....to show the happy and share the memory. 

Aaah I'm guessing this blog makes no sense....I blame the phone, when you scroll you can't see what you've typed, so it just becomes a ramble of my brain. The very innards of my head. 

"Old Pine"

Hot sand on toes, cold sand in sleeping bags, 

I've come to know that memories

Were the best things you ever had

The summer shone beat down on bony backs

So far from home where the ocean stood 

Down dust and pine cone tracks

We slept like dogs down by the fire side

Awoke to the fog all around us 

The boom of summer time

[Chorus]

We stood

Steady as the stars in the woods

So happy-hearted

And the warmth rang true inside these bones

As the old pine fell we sang

Just to bless the morning.

Hot sand on toes, cold sand in sleeping bags, 

I've come to know the friends around you

Are all you'll always have

Smoke in my lungs, or the echoed stone 

Careless and young, free as the birds that fly

With weightless souls now.

[Chorus x2]

We stood

Steady as the stars in the woods

So happy-hearted

And the warmth rang true inside these bones

We stood

Steady as the stars in the woods

So happy-hearted

And the warmth rang true inside these bones

As the old pine fell we sang

Just to bless the morning.

We grow, grow, steady as the morning

We grow, grow, older still

We grow, grow, happy as a new dawn

We grow, grow, older still

We grow, grow, steady as the flowers

We grow, grow, older still

We grow, grow, happy as a new dawn

We grow, grow, older still