Scar

I recently found a whole bunch of blank CD's that obviously belonged to the car at some point. But for whatever reason found themselves in the house. I took them back to the car and have been playing them. To say that I've cringed at some of the songs I chose to put on a CD would be an understatement, but some of them have been like discovering old treats you forgot tasted so good. Such as the song I'm about to share.. it's called Scar by Missy Higgins. Anyway, loved the song 'back in the day'. And today after sharing some lunch and learning some stuff - I think 'oh my, how apt'. 

There's this verse that goes: 

"So the next one came with a bag of treats, she smelled like sugar and
spoke like the sea
And she told me don't trust them, trust me
Then she pulled at my stitches one by one, looked at my insides clicking
her tongue and said
"This will all have to come undone"

A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle
She tried to blunt me so I'd fit"

And that's basically the friendship I had.. and life is like that. I guess some people want to change you, to make you fit, to fix you so that you fit better into their life. It's the next bit of the song that hits home as well. 

"I think I realised just in time, although my old self was hard to find

You can bathe me in your finest wine but I'll never give you mine
'Cos I'm a little bit tired of fearing that I'll be the bad fruit nobody buys
Tell me, did you think we'd all dream the same?"

And I did. I miss gal-chat - of course I do. I don't miss the laughing at me, the wanting me to be miserable (however much to the contrary was said), the other stuff. I really don't. I'm ME - I'm happy with myself. I'm not to be ridiculed, trod on, made to feel like I'm somewhat inferior. I'm not less than zero - I'm pretty okay. I laugh more than I cry, I do good stuff. I want more for the people in my life - I want the bloody moon on a stick for them and I'll help them get there. If that makes me a 'loser' then I'm quite happy losing. 

And I've not been left with a scar - a bad taste in my life at that feeling that I was taken for a super long ride, but not a scar. I bruise, I heal, I don't scar.