180 minutes

3 hours sleep. That is all I'm running on. On the day my CG goes off to college, I'm nothing short of a zombie. BUT I still took the 'first day of school' photo. How different from that little 4 year old in shorts 12 years ago! But the smile is still there and that's the important bit. And I wish for him, that this chapter of his life is just such an awesome one.

And I'm manic, I can feel myself over compensating for the lack of sleep and the sad... I apologise in advance to all near me for that. For I shall be ever so annoying today. My head also hurts.

So last night, when I did sleep, I had a dream where Jimmy from Boardwalk Empire was telling me who I was, what kind of a person I could be. He was telling me it's not a flaw to be easy going, but it is a flaw to be a walk over. I'm not a walk over. I may come across that way as I walk from confrontation and would rather do that.

I am also a great believer in that people do and say what they want (it's what I do and it makes sense). And if they say that they don't want me, should I show I care by fighting? No, I think that pushes people away. I'd rather they just come around to me on their own terms. Maybe that makes me come across as uncaring, but I do care, I care so much.

And the one person I want an hug from, is the one person that can't.

Expect plenty writing from me today - it might just be the difference between falling asleep at my desk and snoring!