YUCK!

I've always been a bit 'funny' (re weird) about public toilets. A source of many family jokes (and no doubt exasperation) of how easily disgusted/freaked out I am. It's my mother's doing of that I have no doubt. Her shriek of 'Don't touch ANYTHING!' and making sure my legs cramped hideously while hovering over a toilet seat, then scalding my toddler paws as she scrubbed, not only every germ that DARED to touch skin but also the very skin off my body, makes me believe that.

There's an infamous (within the family) story of how my great granny took a 3 maybe 4 year old me on a lovely train trip to the beach. A good 40 min ride.Upon arrival, I declared I needed the toilet. It was the vilest public toilet in the world, hence I refused to go. Granny had to take me home. She wasn't really a beach person anyway, I suspect it was all about the train journey. A little bit bratty but she got it - she understood.

I could regale you with a few stories of my public loo larks. But the truth is, within 5 minutes of going anywhere new, I WILL need the toilet and the place will be judged. Never mind that it's got the best food going, if your loo isn't pretty and clean, then chances are, I won't return. Eltham Train Station - take note - this is why I've never been back!

The reason I started this post (has been sitting in draft form for a few weeks) is because I realised another reason why I don't like public toilets. The people. The smell you get from the last person who's entered. It gives me the grills (pronounced grrrrrrils - no English word compares) to sit on a slightly warm seat (albeit covered with reams of toilet paper, to know that another body that I don't know has just recently been there. And if they are an unwashed body, the intimate stench you get from them. Double and triple yuck. It's vile, it's horrible and I wish I was the Queen, so that I'd always get a new WC.