Hamba kakuhle Madiba.

And so the news breaks. At 8.50pm South African time, our icon, Africa's greatest son, Nelson Mandela died.
It seems surreal. It's like hearing a family member has passed on. The tears are falling onto my cheeks as I think about this man and what he meant to so many, me included.
I don't deny that there was a time, that I questioned the way he fought - as a teenager, confronted with propaganda, you question if violence is the right way. But then I was young, I was white and most definitely privileged in a country, where so many had so little. But in those 23 years since he was released, I have read so much of this man, I have heard him speak and there is no doubt in my mind: that he was a great man. A great man, it can't be said enough.
A man that, had he chosen, could have led our country into untold violence but chose to don a rugby shirt and promote getting along - okay, that's simplistic of me. BUT I have no qualms in saying, that my son would not have seen the country he did in August, had Mr Mandela not chosen his path of reconciliation.

When people ask me where I was when he was released from prison, I can say I was in Cape Town on that day 11 February 1990. However, I had a very different day to the majority of people who congregated in the city centre to hear him speak. But my day, was the mark of realising a little bit about how 'his' people (we all became his people, all shapes and colours but then, then it was different) held him in such regard.

I was allowed to go to the beach for a few hours. I sat there with my friends, but sulking. Sulking not because my hero, my icon was about to be free. But miserable because I knew this would be a great day in the annuls of History and instead of saying I WAS THERE, I would have to say 'I was on the beach'. Petulant as only a 15 year old could be. There was quite a crowd of us white kids on the beach, it wasn't a very popular beach (only accessed by a train line) but even the popular beaches were empty.

And this old black man came onto the beach, stumbling a bit. Homeless clearly. Asking for money for food. One of the guys we were with said 'Hey brother, what you doing here?' (in truth, it was probably the first man of colour we had seen all day) This man was startled, obviously thinking he had stumbled onto some aggro. He was just asking for some cents for food he says. 'No man' my friend said 'you should be in Cape Town, Mandela is being released today'.

I will never forget, even if I am riddled with dementia in years to come, that man's face. How it lit up, how his smile stretched from ear to ear, how his eyes crinkled with happiness and how they sparkled with tears of joy. How he leapt into the air, whooping and crying. All his food worries and homeless worries, dissipated for just a little bit. And then he stopped. He came back to Earth. Was it true? Yes we assured him.  It was clear where he wanted to be, where he NEEDED to be. But he had no money.

We gave him pretty much all the cash we had collectively. Enough for food, train fare and off he trotted. Turning around and thanking us every couple of steps.

Is that the day I became an African? Is that the day Madiba's legacy began? For me, yes it did. I had been waking up to my country for a while before, but that moment in my life, just opened me up to how things SHOULD be. I was never lucky enough to meet Nelson Mandela, but I met a man on a beach, on a day my country started it's Long walk to Freedom.

"There are men and women chosen to bring happiness into the hearts of people - those are the real heroes." Nelson Mandela 
"On my last day I want to know that those who remain behind will say "The man who lies here has done his duty for his country and his people" Nelson Mandela (1999 Qunu)

He said those things above.He was and did those things above.

RIP

Feedback

I wish there was a feedback button for when you delete people off Facebook. And maybe even when you add them. But back to deleting.
You'd get the option button saying 'no feedback required' for those who you added because you thought you knew them but actually you didn't - you just added because they had 78 friends in common with you, therefore you assumed you must know them and your brain had forgotten them. It's easier to add that kind of person that admit old age. There's also that social embarrassment of 'shit, this person remembers me and yet I have no idea who they are'. You made an impact (be it big or small) in their lives and you can't even remember them. That's happened to me in the first days of Facebook. I added a girl, her name was vaguely familiar but I didn't have a clue. She posted stuff on my wall about the great times we had, the parties she enjoyed at my house, how I was so funny (always nice to be told this) ad infinitum, and still I could not place her. 16 years had passed since that kickass party at my house (the one she was raving about), I had also been raging drunk at said party. She had grown up so the picture bared no resemblance to anyone I had known. So, I went to my diaries - I used to write lists of who had attended parties.Found her name, still didn't have a clue. It wasn't until her 10th post about another party where things were broken that I twigged who she was and felt so guilty - I knew her well back in the day.
Anyway, back to deleting people. I want radio buttons when I delete people. Things like:
a) we used to be friends, now looking at your picture makes me sick
b) you bore me with the same posts I've seen forever
c) if I see another picture of an injured child/rhino/piglet/etc I will scream and never stop
d) I don't relish seeing religion on my feed
e) seeing what you're up to makes me sad. Not for you, I want to be happy for you, but I'm sad for me
f) you suck (variant on above)
g) I don't know who you are, why you added me or where I know you from
h) you talk shit and it annoys me
i) your girlfriend pisses the living shit out of me with her 'I wuff you bbe' posts.
j) Your lack of command over the English language makes me want to throw things - at you
k) No feedback required
l) No hard feelings

Hmmm I sound grumpy and people might wonder why I even go onto Facebook if that's my attitude. Well I like Bejeweled Blitz and I like seeing pictures of my friends and family - since the majority of them live so far away. And really, this post is directed or rather, popped into my head because of a few people who tick a few of those radio buttons I want. I normally delete people (or just not add them) without any compunction or guilt but there's a few that I would like to erase from my wall/life but lack the guts to do. Not that I fear I'll hurt them (although there is that), but the no going back once I've done it. It's the letting go I'm finding hard. Okay, it's also the hurting them and in some instance, will they even notice?

To catch fish and other tall tales

To catch a fish, one must be confident in one's ability to catch said fish. If you go into the fishing expedition with less than 100% certainty that you can net/hook/get the food, then you'll never get the fish you've set your eyes on.

And you must make sure that you're wanting to hook the right fish. Don't go for the most brightly coloured one, they fade after a few twinkles of their scales.

Once you are sure about your fish, you'll now have to think about bait. What will hold your fish' interest enough for Fishie to nibble and then bite down hard? Don't lure Fishie in with false bait - Fishie will know, and work out very soon, that the bait on offer is not the one it's going to get. Fish are not as stupid as we would want to believe they are.

I go for the CCC approach. A fish loves a calm fisherman. Hysterics and loud noises will frighten off even the most boldest. A confident fisherman but not bolshy will also impress the fish long enough for it to have another look. And finally the last C - the one you need to work out yourself. It could be a number of things, it's the magic X ingredient that lands you the meal for the dinner table. You'll know it when you're sitting at the water's edge, dipping your toes into the river/ocean/place you do your fishing and wondering if you'll sink or swim. When you're looking at the fish swimming past. It's when you get your Confidence that you can land one.

Then you're ready my little fisherfolk.