Hello again

Hi... how're you doing? I've not blogged in a while. Truth be told, I've not put pen to paper either, unless it's for a doodle. I'd like to say it's because I've been ultra busy doing lots of important stuff. But that wouldn't be truthful.  I've been preparing for a new job role which mentally has taken me to places I've not been in many many years. I didn't think or rather, I didn't remember how tough it was on the brain, to sit in a classroom from 9 - 5 and learn something new. And it was. Still no real excuse for my absence.
So why have I been away? Well, I was in danger of putting over all my thoughts of losing my best friend here and I can't frankly do it.... I miss her daily, my heart and soul physically aches with the exertion of missing her. And there's some teenagery stuff I had to sort out in my head regarding my CG. And you know, just everything became such a mission.

Then I realised I missed my blog. This pretty little page of mine has become a part of me. I read past posts and wonder who wrote them... I certainly don't feel like that person. It's quite amazing how a life event changes a person so much. And now it's 100 days (give or take) until my school reunion and I'm absolutely convinced in my head that I'm still EXACTLY the same, but I guess I'm not. In the years since I left SA, I've had some pretty life changing thingies that have happened to me (the first one being leaving SA obv.) Becoming a mother, becoming a single mother, my mom's stroke, other stuff, Nhandi. So how can I possibly be that girl I once was and I think maybe it would be a little sad if I still was, that I hadn't grown at all mentally in 20 years. Thing is, I look back at my diaries and I kind of like that girl. Yes, in my head she was a bit of a cow bag regarding the boy folk (but teenagers should be, it's a law I'm sure) but on a whole.... I was ok. Still, it's a bit nervy when I think of what my school folk will expect and what they will get. I'm quieter now, I know that, I'm also taller (double whoop), and my teeth are no longer squiff - yip, braces didn't work at all, but having a full set of wisdoms coming through, closed that gap!

I'm an idiot, I started this blog with the intention of saying hello and oh look I sprained my ankle and I don't know how.... and yet here is this whole other thing that's on my mind. That makes me amused. A lot.