Incidents of me

Back when Facebook didn't exist, I used to be a member of an online expat forum and quite often used to post my blonde moments. As it turns out I was a regular poster. *grin*

I kind of wish I had kept drafts of those posts as a reminder of things not to do. And because they were amusing. I don't think I can remember half of them. The incident with a glitter bath bomb is one that sticks in my head - note: NEVER use one of those bombs the day before your yearly lady appointment.

Anyway, I've put one such incident on facebook and since it's such an 'epic fail' (in the words of the youth), I thought I'd edit it and share it here. It was written 20 September 2009. Here goes: *quick edit - I have NEVER used that brand again - in fact I wasn't the first nor last to do it and the opening mechanism has been change. Secondly, I ended up losing 0.04% of sight in that eye*

My bathroom and I have a love/hate affair. I love it and it hates me. It's come to this situation where I almost fear to run a bath, wondering what it store has in for me next. And I don't understand it at all, since all I do is buy it pretty stuff!

For those that have read my bathroom 'issues' before, believe me when I say this new one just goes straight into the charts at number one.

So we've had the overflowing bubbles, we've had the bath bomb that glittered me from head to toe before the visit to the doctor (EVERYTHING was glittery - I really dressed up for that visit!) and now we have the case of the errant Shower & Shave.

I decided on Tuesday night, that I needed a late night bath and decided to crack open a new bottle of shower gel - Shower & Shave Imperial Leather...I don't think the flavour is important but it was the Jasmine and Nightflower one in case anyone is interested (it had some such stupid name).

I've opened plenty of these things before, I have the whole range (I HAD the whole range, they are now at my parents) so I barely looked at the thing. Well, actually I did look at the thing, that bit will become clear! So I looked at it, tried to open it and the stupid idiotic S&Shave squirted with HUGE pressure right into my eye socket.

It was like I had a Great White in the bath with me - or maybe I was the Great White? Whatever, I thrashed and screamed and shouted and cried in absolute agony. My 11 year old slept through the ordeal btw, giving me knowledge that should I ever fall down the stairs and break many bones, he'll be as good as a chocolate teapot. I rubbed the eye, I splashed it - got a nice foam up. ;o) And still I was bawling like a newborn. I crawled out the bath, taps on cold and rinsed eye for the next 5 hours - bad move - that just did more damage. Btw, I was sobbing throughout this and STILL, the 11 year old was having sweet dreams! lol

The next day looking like I'd been punched in the face with a big fat bottle of shower gel, I ended up in A&E and the eye clinic for near enough 7 hours!! Prognosis is that the swelling will go down (as it has - I no longer look like I've had a stroke), but it will take a while to get full sight back - if ever.

This is not something I recommend out of all my bath drama's (the glitter bomb I actually do recommend for that special night - not the next day gynae visit) - the saline wash out with a mini-hose is not fun and best left to those with a love for torture.

I was thinking that I should just stay indoors for the rest of the year (one broken limb, one broken eye gives me a good enough reason) but then I'm scared the bathroom will just have more time to be evil!

5 days after the event, I'm okay to laugh at this now.