Hmm

My mom still manages to make me laugh. Well in a 'you said what' kind of way. I want to take my son on holiday when some money comes through. My parents are aware of this, so I thought.
Anyway, that's the back story. So today, mom and I are having a conversation where a friend has texted me saying they miss me (in Cape Town) and I must come on holiday. So Mom says 'oh you must and take the child'. Bearing in mind, her speech is still affected by the stroke, I still thought it was a good sentence. So I said I was thinking about it, but I think I'd take him somewhere a bit closer. No, she gets quite animated at this point and says I must GO! with him and soon. I said well it's a bit far, a bit expensive, I was thinking more South of France or somewhere Europe but hot.
She gets VERY cross and says no no no I must go forever with him and never come back. So we were not talking a holiday. She was talking about me emigrating back to South Africa (is it emigrating when you're going back? hmm maybe not). I point out to her that really as much as it would probably be a nice move on my part, I'm not really prepared to take my son away from his only set of grandparents that he knows. That it wouldn't be fair on my dad nor CG. She appreciates that. To be fair, she's always championed me moving elsewhere. Until I actually make moves to do it that is. And I've had the conversation with my dad and he reckons they would be okay. BUT I think he was more meaning somewhere in England.

But it gets a gal thinking, if all things were perfect in my world: would I, could I leave this country? I yearn for a home where the seasons know their place. Where you can have a summer and a winter wardrobe. Where you know your quality of life may be more than it is at the moment. But I love England, the beauty of it is completely different to Africa. I love the castles, I love the fact there is a HUGE amount of history everywhere. I love that I live in an area where an actual battle took place. That the streets are clean, that I have a job and can pay my bills. So it's safe here, I have the excuses I need not to move.

BUT that creates a somewhat stagnant, bored and fed up me. My feet are itchy and want to do something! All of me is just wanting to break free. To just shut the door and let the house get on with itself. To just start fresh.  Maybe it's not even that, but I want to get out there, live a little, laugh a lot. Not be bogged down by pettyness of the humdrum. Or even enjoy the humdrum because you know that there's something waiting for you.

It's no good really talking about it, or even blogging about it, if you're not going to do something about it. I need a list, a scheme and a piece of string - because that's what McGuyver always had for a good plan coming together - or am I getting my 80's sitcoms confused? Oooh and maybe throw in a bit of the Magnum as I already have a nice fast red car. What the plan will be is anyones guess, but like all my adventures so far, I'm sure it'll just attach itself to me when it's ready to!

And I'm sure this blog is a bunch of nonsense words that don't make any sense, but that's just me all over. It's amazing how the mind jumps back and forth. To be fair, I'm still chuckling that mother might have thought I wanted to move to the South of France. It's a good thing really that I didn't tell her I wanted to go to Thorpe Park! :)