There we go, I forgot what this felt like.
See I don't do holidays - not really. I've done a few but it's not really what I do. By that I mean, lie on a beach, drinking cocktails, maybe see a few local sights. I don't do that. My holidays have in the main part been trips back to SA for a reason. I've done Thailand as a holiday and Goa was another.
But last week I was in America. And it wasn't labelled as a holiday but that's what I had. In my head I have another label for it. See, here's the thing, I love a plan. And it's not that I can't do without one, I can. But if i have the bare bones of a goal/plan - then I feel a little more sorted. There is a plan afoot but to get that plan moving, I had to answer some questions. And I did, within an hour of landing. I was sitting in a car and I looked to my left and I grinned and my questions were answered. Within 24 hours, I further confirmed so then I went on holiday mode. I saw a new city - one that reminded me of Pretoria so much - in a good way. It wasn't so 'city' that I was overwhelmed and it had good food and Uber.
Because it's me, I have some regrets. The last decade has been one of huge change for me and a lot of other stuff not for a blog. I've spent a lot of time trying to heal and I didn't realise that when you've been out of a game for so long, you forget how to play.
But back to how I feel now. Hell, I wish I could go back. If I had a time machine... but more than that, I am sad. I am sad that my 'holiday' is over. I'm sad to be back. I'm sad that I have had to go to Tesco to buy Limonata to drink with my gin and I'm sad that I have no interest in falling asleep on a sofa.
