November time

It's the time of year when I can feel myself getting sad. However, this year, it's not going to happen (says the woman who drove today with puddles of tears in her ears desperately missing her best friend). No I'm being serious, this year I'm not getting sad. Today was a little lapse.... a little bit of I'm feeling sorry for myself - I was thinking 'shit... I haven't got any proper close local friends' and this caused me a bit of sadness for a moment, until I realised that I don't like anyone enough. Then I was fine. I do kind of miss having a super close friend like LB was - but in retrospect, how good was she for me - not much as it turns out. And then I got to thinking 'aaah you're protecting yourself, you don't seek out new friends in case it buggers up'. That's rubbish, I just haven't found a kindred spirit yet... I'm excluding TB in this for although he is immense with the giggles and the being able to empty my mind with him (JUST like you'd do with an awesome friend), in this instance, I mean a girl.... but I've said local because actually I have far away close friends who share history and love me for the idiot I am. Maybe I'm too tired to go through the rigmarole of looking for a confidante? And seriously, they all come with their own friends built in - sooo essentially, I'm looking for another me and that's just tiresome!

The big truth is, it's coming up for 11 November and I'm remembering my Nhandi. So I start looking into myself for what I think I need again and the reality is, I don't.

THIS 11th November is going to be awesome however and something she should have done but obviously didn't. No matter, I'm doing it. Another road trip - nope not a road trip...there shall be no roads!! This is an air adventure and shall be memory making of that I'm sure. Trés excitement.. which is not a clue... if I had said Shamrock excitement then maybe that would have been a clue...