21-11-2006

I was sitting in an Italian restaurant this week thinking of my nana and how much she influenced me in my conduct. How when she told me I was a lovely young lady, it was like I had been given the moon on a stick. How she conducted herself set a bench stone. 

In a era where women were judged so completely if they didn't have a man, she taught me that ladies can do it all, and still be womanly.  She was a beautiful woman who was so full of smarts. She enriched herself, learning all the time up to the point dementia took hold. She has inspired me. There is no question of that. 9 years today, my legs buckled under me as I heard she had passed....it just doesn't seem that long ago but life has changed so much since then. I still look to her for how I should behave, using her as that bench mark. I can hear her saying my name in her voice. She said it very different to how anyone else did.

Yes, she indulged me. In completely different ways to how I was indulged by everyone else. She challenged me. On our long drives to wherever, she played advocate and we had debates about everything. She truly was a modern woman before they became on trend. 

I wish I had known her better as the adult I am now. I wish she could have known CG as the adult he is becoming. 

My beautiful nana, still missed after all these years but never forgotten.