Thursday 29 November 2012

Reasoning

Oh dear, I'm so very angry - I just wish this anger would fly away. But vent I shall. 

So off to the Facebook place and there's  a post on N's husband's wall where some woman says she believes that this happened for a reason. And it's taken ALL my willpower and strength NOT to comment. So I thought I'd comment here because what I want to say is this: 


I'm sorry to the above person, I'm sure you mean well but seriously - everything happened for a reason? there's a REASON Nhandi is no longer with us? There's a REASON she's no longer able to be mother to two beautiful children? Husband to a man she loved and a daughter to grieving parents? There's a REASON she's no longer being my best friend? I'd LOVE, just LOVE for you to tell me what this reason is.and maybe then we can all sigh and go 'lovely, there's a reason, that's okay then" 


Obviously I will not comment on that status and air my views because I'm fully aware of what will happen. This poor woman will feel absolutely AWFUL that she's hurt someone's feelings and I'll be made to look like the deranged fool. 

Honestly, though, who the hell says a tragedy like this, happened for a reason? What particular reason could there be? What on this earth could possibly be more important than Nhandi's life?

And I'm perfectly aware that I'm being very irrational and totally not myself at all. That this poor woman who's pissed me off is probably just trying to give words of comfort. But honestly, I can't bear to read any more on facebook. So I won't.

In other news - the kindness of people HAS amazed me. It's something our Mouse said last night "Nhandi ALWAYS saw the good in people, that was her thing" and she did (I've blogged on that before), she always wanted to believe in the idiots of this world. And then was so hurt when they betrayed her trust. However, if her being gone has shown one thing....she was right to have that belief because people are repaying her goodness back. I just wish she could have known how much she was loved. I'm kicking myself I didn't phone, wasn't more assertive, wasn't so concerned with upsetting or intruding with her husband. I shall have that regret for the rest of my life. Why couldn't I pick up the phone? Why did I settle for a stupid flipping text? 
And here come the tears again... which sucks a bit because the anger is a new emotion I'm not wholly used to and appears to be easier to control.


No comments:

Post a Comment

Travel sick

 There we go, I forgot what this felt like.  See I don't do holidays - not really. I've done a few but it's not really what I do...