Harking to the past for the future....

6 years ago I believe I found myself. Not in an Eat, Pray, Love kind of way. More like a East, Beast, Feast kind of way. I had found a song that resonated with me in the months prior. Something about the lyrics, the tune, the artist singing all just went bam! boom! whallop! into my head/heart.

And then I was given an opportunity to go to Thailand. Not a place that I'd ever thought of going to. I flew alone, I travelled alone, halfway across the world. I did that. I arrived alone. Not lonely, you understand but in my own company. When I got there, I was stunned into silence - not something that happens all that often. I was in awe of the heat, the vibrancy, the scenery, the cow-sized ceramic chickens, the everything. But it also felt comfortable, like it was familiar.

On my second morning there, that song from months ago, was playing in the breakfast floating island thing. And again with the bam! boom! whallop! and I realised this was me, this is who I am. I'm happy in my skin. Ah well yes, the skin may change - or rather the volume of it - in fact this is direct correlation with me finally managing to put on weight. Gone was the nervous energy, gone was the constant on the move. I calmed down. And that was a good thing.

Maybe Thailand wasn't the cause, maybe it was the end result. Whatever it was, it helped.

Weird, I always think that I enjoyed Thailand on my own. I guess I did.

.....Landslide 

As to the future, well sometimes I need to remind myself, that I know what I want and I'm happy enough getting it. And that my road is a different path to travel than others. That I'm not content to stay here, behind this desk. But also that I'm gentle, I'm soft and kind hearted and to remember not to lose that trait, for it is a good one.

"For although I cannot fly, I am not content to crawl" - 9 days